I want to thank you all for the comments and messages that I have received on my last post, Your kind words of encouragement and support have helped me tremendously. I sincerely appreciate all of you! I can easily say that today was the best day I have had in a while and I have you all to thank for that. And also I have to give some credit where it is due and say that today was so incredibly beautiful! It is my favorite time of year right now, right when it is just cold enough to throw on a sweatshirt, but also just warm enough that you don't have to. A bright, and sunny day in Eugene is rare. Take time to enjoy the little things in your life, you will be glad you did.
This post may be a bit too long for some of you, but suck it up because I have a LOT to talk about. I am not exactly sure what this will turn into or what my point is yet, but I am going to start by writing about what I have gone through and the things that I have learned thus far. I may not have it all figured out yet, but I am willing to share with you my life from my point of view at the time and what I was dealing with. I also want to let all of know a few things about my present, past and future posts on this blog. This is not now, and never will be an outlet for juicy gossip, this is not a place where I will bad mouth or talk poorly of anyone that is involved in my life. If that is what you are looking for then I am sorry but you have come to the wrong place. I am way past that. I will do my best to be respectful of everyone. I may, however leave out or change some names, but strictly for that person's personal privacy. If you ever have a question or a comment, want me to discuss a topic or if something that I say offends you or even if you want to just say you liked something I said, please take the time to write me an email about it. I promise to do my best to reach out to you as soon as I can. Other than that, this is the real deal. My life. One blog post at a time.
Many of you know me as who I was while I was in High School. I must say, I have changed quite a bit since then. I feel like the best way to really understand me and where I am at now is to start there, since that is when most of you probably remember me. If you have stayed in touch with me or seen me since, you may know all of this already and if you are a newer friend that I have made, you will probably learn a bunch about me you may not know so I guess that bearing with me and reading this could be fun for you. This is my place to write what I want to and how I want to do it, so if you are going to read it, you have to deal with it! Hahaha this is fun. Let's get really wild and out of control and do something out of the norm........................................................................................................ :)
Ready for a flashback? No? Too bad, because that just happened. Now it's 2009!
I am about to move from my hometown of Big Bear Lake, Ca and venture into the "real world" so to speak. Life in Big Bear was amazing and I am truly blessed to have such an awesome community to grow up in. Even though I hated being there when I was younger and thought I was basically trapped on the mountain, I felt like I had to get out of there while I still could. Many of my friends had moved already or were planning to move soon. In some ways, I felt like everything was very suddenly moving way too fast! We had literally just graduated and some people were already gone, some married or engaged to be, and others pregnant, and of course them everyone else I grew up with was moving to new towns and even states for college and jobs, or the Military. Around this time, I was also dating a girl whose name I will leave out, but i'm sure some of you know who I am talking about. We had been dating off and on for almost 3 years. I had some amazing life experiences with her. She and I were compatible, however looking back now I feel like we were both way too young to know what we wanted in ourselves, let alone as a couple. She taught me many things in the time that I was with her. Unfortunately for my sake, the best thing she ever taught me was also the last thing she taught me, She taught me to be careful who I trust. I had put my complete trust in her, only to find out certain things that made me feel like a terrible fool. Cheated, and betrayed and lied to every day for a very extended amount of time. Dealing with all that realization and pain, along with the pains from the deaths of some close friends and some of the most amazing people I had met in my life. All of these plus a combination of other things at 19 was devastating for me. I was in desperate need of an escape.
So, with my family moving off the mountain, being recently single and having all of my friends leaving, I knew it was time for me to go. I packed my car full of everything I had. I drove to Santa Barbara, Ca with enough money only for the first months rent, groceries and maybe some change left over. I had no solid job lined up, but I was just going to get by as best as I could. I got an apartment with my best friend at the time. He and I were inseparable, we did everything together, he became and will always be my brother. We were both in a similar stage in life and knew we just wanted to let loose. And we did, oh man, we did! To this day, I have never partied harder than when I was living there. We would go out around 8-9pm and not come home until around 7-9am. Then sleep all day, and then do it again. We stumbled around a few house parties and eventually found and were almost instantly accepted to join forces with one of the most notorious party houses in Isla Vista (IV) called The Marley House. Actually here is a little fun fact for you, I was one of the last tenants to live there with the mural on the wall before they renovated the house and painted over the mural. I also was the first tenant to discover that they had painted it. I can't tell you all of the many stories of me and my experiences in that house, but I will share some of the more memorable stories in the future. It was there where I really found my true calling even though I didn't know it at the time.
In the midst of all the chaos, I found something I was really good at. For those of you who have never heard of that house, or what went on there, basically we put on free concerts ranging from DJ's to Reggae, Rock and other local bands in our front yard almost every weekend. And if I recall correctly, sometimes multiple shows per week. I found that I was able to create a playlist on an I-pod, laptop, whatever, and draw people in and get them to come dance and have a good time. I was also running sound for most of the shows. Which really sounds more glamorous that it was. Myself along with the other guys who lived in the house, (well, most of them) would do everything from building stages and props, decorating, getting people to come to the show, set up and tear down all gear and equipment, run lighting, shoot videos and take photos, making the singers tea before shows, and everything in between. Some of the best shows I have seen were in that courtyard or another house/lawn party in IV and all of those memories of my time there are treasured. Before long, I grew to become uncomfortable. It's the same feeling I always get before I move again. I knew that eventually I would have to leave Santa Barbara. I didn't want to go though, there is a certain way of life and a beauty that is unsurpassed by any where else I have ever been. Eventually, however I just couldn't fight it anymore, it was time to go.
I will tell you one very true story of Santa Barbara and my time there to close this post out. I was in the living room with my roommates, probably talking about the show from the last weekend, when suddenly a phone rings. After hearing my room mate say "Cops?!" "Up the street?" Coming here?" I grew nervous. He puts down the phone and says "So, Verna Beware and another local band were playing a living room show when the cops broke it up. They are moving the show to here. 2 trucks full of gear will be here any minute. We are having a freaking show tonight!" We went outside to try to throw together some sort of plan while having a smoke. By the time I finished mine, I looked up and the trucks were pulling into the driveway. We immediately got to work and I swear to God, within just a mere 5 minutes we had the band fully setup, sound checked and playing live. The crowd appeared basically out of no where and it was on. Now keep in mind that we had a noise curfew in IV that started at exactly 12:00 am. By 11:50 pm there was a line of Sheriffs surrounding our property. I killed the audio within seconds of the curfew. I told the band, my room mates and the cops I would make sure it was off before midnight. I'll never forget the look of the cop behind me, I knew they wanted to give us a citation so badly, but I stretched it out and told the band to keep playing as long as I possibly could. He looked back at me and just shook his head, rolled his eyes then started laughing. He then pointed to me and joked with the cop to his left that "That kid is good. A punk ass, definitely! but he's good."
Okay my friends, I have been working on this all night since I got home from work and I think I need to eat something and relax. I hope you all are well and enjoying reading this. Feel free to comment, message, share, like, whatever you want to do. If you would like to, reach out to me, I will do my best to reach back! I would not be the person I am today without you in my life. No matter how small the part. Thanks for being a part of my journey! So much more to come. This really, is only the beginning.
I am about to move from my hometown of Big Bear Lake, Ca and venture into the "real world" so to speak. Life in Big Bear was amazing and I am truly blessed to have such an awesome community to grow up in. Even though I hated being there when I was younger and thought I was basically trapped on the mountain, I felt like I had to get out of there while I still could. Many of my friends had moved already or were planning to move soon. In some ways, I felt like everything was very suddenly moving way too fast! We had literally just graduated and some people were already gone, some married or engaged to be, and others pregnant, and of course them everyone else I grew up with was moving to new towns and even states for college and jobs, or the Military. Around this time, I was also dating a girl whose name I will leave out, but i'm sure some of you know who I am talking about. We had been dating off and on for almost 3 years. I had some amazing life experiences with her. She and I were compatible, however looking back now I feel like we were both way too young to know what we wanted in ourselves, let alone as a couple. She taught me many things in the time that I was with her. Unfortunately for my sake, the best thing she ever taught me was also the last thing she taught me, She taught me to be careful who I trust. I had put my complete trust in her, only to find out certain things that made me feel like a terrible fool. Cheated, and betrayed and lied to every day for a very extended amount of time. Dealing with all that realization and pain, along with the pains from the deaths of some close friends and some of the most amazing people I had met in my life. All of these plus a combination of other things at 19 was devastating for me. I was in desperate need of an escape.
So, with my family moving off the mountain, being recently single and having all of my friends leaving, I knew it was time for me to go. I packed my car full of everything I had. I drove to Santa Barbara, Ca with enough money only for the first months rent, groceries and maybe some change left over. I had no solid job lined up, but I was just going to get by as best as I could. I got an apartment with my best friend at the time. He and I were inseparable, we did everything together, he became and will always be my brother. We were both in a similar stage in life and knew we just wanted to let loose. And we did, oh man, we did! To this day, I have never partied harder than when I was living there. We would go out around 8-9pm and not come home until around 7-9am. Then sleep all day, and then do it again. We stumbled around a few house parties and eventually found and were almost instantly accepted to join forces with one of the most notorious party houses in Isla Vista (IV) called The Marley House. Actually here is a little fun fact for you, I was one of the last tenants to live there with the mural on the wall before they renovated the house and painted over the mural. I also was the first tenant to discover that they had painted it. I can't tell you all of the many stories of me and my experiences in that house, but I will share some of the more memorable stories in the future. It was there where I really found my true calling even though I didn't know it at the time.
In the midst of all the chaos, I found something I was really good at. For those of you who have never heard of that house, or what went on there, basically we put on free concerts ranging from DJ's to Reggae, Rock and other local bands in our front yard almost every weekend. And if I recall correctly, sometimes multiple shows per week. I found that I was able to create a playlist on an I-pod, laptop, whatever, and draw people in and get them to come dance and have a good time. I was also running sound for most of the shows. Which really sounds more glamorous that it was. Myself along with the other guys who lived in the house, (well, most of them) would do everything from building stages and props, decorating, getting people to come to the show, set up and tear down all gear and equipment, run lighting, shoot videos and take photos, making the singers tea before shows, and everything in between. Some of the best shows I have seen were in that courtyard or another house/lawn party in IV and all of those memories of my time there are treasured. Before long, I grew to become uncomfortable. It's the same feeling I always get before I move again. I knew that eventually I would have to leave Santa Barbara. I didn't want to go though, there is a certain way of life and a beauty that is unsurpassed by any where else I have ever been. Eventually, however I just couldn't fight it anymore, it was time to go.
I will tell you one very true story of Santa Barbara and my time there to close this post out. I was in the living room with my roommates, probably talking about the show from the last weekend, when suddenly a phone rings. After hearing my room mate say "Cops?!" "Up the street?" Coming here?" I grew nervous. He puts down the phone and says "So, Verna Beware and another local band were playing a living room show when the cops broke it up. They are moving the show to here. 2 trucks full of gear will be here any minute. We are having a freaking show tonight!" We went outside to try to throw together some sort of plan while having a smoke. By the time I finished mine, I looked up and the trucks were pulling into the driveway. We immediately got to work and I swear to God, within just a mere 5 minutes we had the band fully setup, sound checked and playing live. The crowd appeared basically out of no where and it was on. Now keep in mind that we had a noise curfew in IV that started at exactly 12:00 am. By 11:50 pm there was a line of Sheriffs surrounding our property. I killed the audio within seconds of the curfew. I told the band, my room mates and the cops I would make sure it was off before midnight. I'll never forget the look of the cop behind me, I knew they wanted to give us a citation so badly, but I stretched it out and told the band to keep playing as long as I possibly could. He looked back at me and just shook his head, rolled his eyes then started laughing. He then pointed to me and joked with the cop to his left that "That kid is good. A punk ass, definitely! but he's good."
Okay my friends, I have been working on this all night since I got home from work and I think I need to eat something and relax. I hope you all are well and enjoying reading this. Feel free to comment, message, share, like, whatever you want to do. If you would like to, reach out to me, I will do my best to reach back! I would not be the person I am today without you in my life. No matter how small the part. Thanks for being a part of my journey! So much more to come. This really, is only the beginning.
Brother I am so proud of you! Love reading your stories :) I know this is a difficult time and you embracing it and growing through it is the absolute best thing you can do. You have truly grown into an amazing man. Love you! -James
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