Growth

Good Evening Friends! 

Today was a productive day for me. I got a lot of good progress with work done and have been getting great positive feedback on my contributions, despite me not being that great at staying positive while working from home. As an extrovert, staying home and away from people is uncomfortable and foreign to me. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have been able to stay employed during all this madness, as I know many of you reading this may have undergone a temporary furlough or been impacted in some way. I started with my current job back in October of 2018, and from the very first interview I had, I told them that where I am now is where I wanted to be. I worked very hard to get here, and always kept my goals out in front of me. I’m proud to stand where I am today and continuing this remarkable journey. I have learned so many important lessons, and branched out into many different areas of focus, but one thing has always stayed the same however, my personal growth. As I continue my journey upward, I look forward to documenting my progress! I hope you enjoy the view along the way, and if not, I promise the view from the top will be worth the climb 💪🏼💪🏼

Renew

Today’s photo is from a few years back when I had visited my Dad at the Oregon Coast. I remember feeling how much I had missed Oregon, when I left I wasn’t in a great place mentally. I had gone through a very tough breakup, and was lost in so many ways. Coming back here was bittersweet, I love Oregon and always have. Some of my favorite memories are of visiting my grandmother who lived there during my childhood years. From throwing too many fermented apples to the cows across the street and accidentally getting them drunk, to playing board games with my family. Each of these memories have planted themselves firmly in my heart forever. I remember being in awe of the raw natural beauty the state has to offer. The way the mountains seem to drop right into the ocean, the way the waves crashing on shore brings such peace and warmth to my soul. In life, we can’t make everyone happy all the time, but you can choose to make yourself happy. At the end of the day, that’s all that really matters. Some people may want to bring you down to their own level of unhappiness if you let them. I am choosing the higher path, the view is better from here anyways. ✌️

Refresh

Today’s photo is an older one. I snapped this while walking around the Sonora Desert Museum with my sister Kayla, her daughter Lilly and my dad. While we walked through the outdoor garden I was laughing and playing with Lilly when her eyes lit up and she pointed behind me. This beautiful butterfly had just landed on the bush next to me and she was so in awe. It reminds me of the warmth and innocence of youth, eyes brightening at the simplest of joys. It also reminds me of the fragility of life. One minute someone can be your best friend, then they or you can let an ego get in the way. Unfortunately most people don’t know how to communicate how they truly feel or what’s really going on. It’s a delicate balance, life. As we navigate the waters, sometimes peaceful and calm, other times stormy and chaotic, remember to appreciate those who are closest to you. Tell your loved ones how much you care and appreciate them as often as you can. No one knows how much time we have left on this world, just make the most out of every single day. 

Awakening

Good Morning!!! 

This is the picture of the day, or at least the starting point. I didn’t sleep last night, not because of any one reason in particular, but for oh so many wonderful reasons!! I had a revelation last night, and I have been having many of those lately, to be honest. And  opening myself up embracing this season of tremendous and amazing change. Change can be scary at times, other times it can be so enlightening. I have always wanted to pursue photography, and although I have made many excuses along the way, ranging from lack of schooling or equipment or whatever bullshit reason I told myself that I wasn’t what I wanted to be. I never actually BELIEVED that I was, and always have been a photographer, photojournalist, musician, baseball player, and who knows what else! I have been so many different things and in every scenario available, some were beautiful and bright, others were dark and scary. I realized that when I was looking through old photos on my phone with Ashley last night that I have always been taking photos of whatever I saw at the time that I thought looked beautiful. Then I started revisiting those memories, reliving those moments all over again as I’m explaining the backstory of each photo and laughing and sharing these parts of my life with my person! It was enlightening, and amazing and terrifying all at once. What if I had a super weird photo that I couldn’t explain? What if an awkward photo of a past relationships popped up? Then I realized, FUCK IT. Who cares? Why should I be ashamed if there was something embarrassing or possibly a source of conflict in the future? I was open, vulnerable, and honest about each of these photos, which I will share with you more as I progress through this journey with you. Fear is powerful, but we don’t need to be afraid of Fear. It doesn’t have to be the vessel that keeps us from growth, but much rather the tools needed to separate myself from whatever I was scared of, and look at the reason why. This “unprecedented” time we are in is causing such a massive global disruption to “Normal Life” that people are losing their collective Fuckin minds. And they should be. Most of the people who are freaking out are freaking out because of the fear of the future. I challenge you, today and everyday to be mindful of your body, your mind, listen to what it’s telling you. Don’t fight it!! You want to let go of things that have been holding you back. You want to become the person you need to be, and the only thing that’s holding you back is your damn self. That’s it. No one else, stop making excuses or blaming this that or the other. No one controls your life except YOU. The world is changing, there is no doubt about that. However, we can choose to grow with the change or shut ourselves off from it. No matter which path you choose, go in peace. Ask yourself the tough questions. Am I drinking too much? When was the last time I did laundry? Am I eating healthy? Do I get regular exercise? If not, well then do something about it. In the wise words of Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac, “you can go your own way”. Whichever route you take, I wish you the best and the most love and joy there is to offer. I hope you see what I saw in this picture, but I know that you will see whatever you wish to see, and THAT is what makes it beautiful. Just like you! ☺️

Preparations

Hello again friends!

It has been so long since I have written in this blog, and so much has happened! Some great, some a struggle, but overall, I think I am right where I need to be. In my last post, I had just started working with Pro Production Services. For those who don't know, it is a full-service production company based in Phoenix, AZ. There, I learned so incredibly much, we did everything from Pro Audio, Lighting, Staging, Audio/Visual, Conventions, Power, Backline and so much more.

Anyways, I left the company a few months back, due to some personal and family issues. Also, the work I was doing was extremely grueling and taxing on the body. I was getting burnt out working such long hours, but I had some amazing experiences I will always cherish. Plus my ex wasn't happy being up there and we decided to move back to Tucson to try to save money with the hopes of going to school starting next year. Well, a month after we got down here, I got dumped. I have nothing bad to say about her, she was and is an amazing woman. We were just both at very different stages in life. I had some incredible experiences and memories with her that I will always look back on and smile.

I got a job bar-tending at a local steakhouse, and the pace is much more mellow. It's fun to make drinks and has been awesome getting to know my faithful regulars and learn how to make some awesome cocktails. This is not a permanent gig by any means for me, just easy cash while I plan my next steps, which are HUGE.

So here it is.... after moving back in with my sister and brother in law, who are both active duty in the Air Force, I have decided to try to join. Although I haven't been accepted yet, I am training my body, my mind and am trying to prepare as much as I can before I even go talk to a recruiter. I got an ASVAB study guide and have been studying like crazy. My routine from now on will be studying 4-6 hours a day in all subjects, Reading and Writing, Math, Science and Mechanical Knowledge as well as many more. I am beyond motivated to better my future and my self. I am also working out again, I have a routine of knuckle and diamond push-ups, sit-ups, and tomorrow I am going to get some solid running shoes so I can start running again. Not looking forward to it, but I know that the more prepared I am, the better off I will be in Basic and Tech School. My goal is to become a Load master or really, any part of flight crew.

I want to serve my country, and better myself, and hey, if I can get paid to workout, get an education, have benefits for life and create some much needed financial stability and gain some discipline, then why not? I don't know if they will take me, but I am going to give it my best shot. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts, and if anyone who has served, or is in active duty has any pointers, or suggestions, please send them my way. So much more to come in the next few months and I will try to keep you posted as my preparations and the process becomes more known to me.

I truly hope you all are doing well and as always I will be here for you if you need!

-Nathan

Going Pro

Hello friends!

I don't know if anyone even reads these anymore, however it has been some solid time since I last wrote and much has happened! Before I get into what my life is like nowadays, I want to kind of reflect on my previous, and set the tone for my future posts. When I started this blog a few years ago, I was writing from a very depressed, distraught mindset, I had just been through a terrible breakup and was feeling like absolute shit about myself. My confidence was shot, I felt like I had no one to support me and just wasn't happy with who I was or where I was at in life.  So, I took a good look in the mirror, and I realized that I was the source of a lot of my pain, I had brought it all on myself.
I flew from Eugene, Oregon to Florida. I was helping my sister Jaime get her house ready to rent out before making the cross country trip to Tucson, Arizona. I think that was one of the most therapeutic things I could have ever done. Even though I was listening to music, and we would stop often, for the dogs to go or to get a bite to eat and refuel, I was completely alone in the cab of that truck and therefore I had a lot of time to think, process and heal. In a way, I found myself on that journey, I realized areas I was wrong and right and dwelled a lot on mistakes I made, but above all, I allowed myself for the first time to just let it go. To leave it in my rearview, to watch it get further and further behind me until I forgot it was even there. And in many ways, that is what I am going to do with this blog. I am leaving all of that negativity, pain, resentment and any other bad feelings where they belong, in the past, behind me. It is still a part of me so it will remain, if you want to read through them, because it is a part of me whether I like it or not, and many great lessons were learned.

Now to the good stuff! Where to begin? I started working at a company in Tucson called Arizona Cine Equipment, which is a full service production company. We do Sound, Lighting, Staging, Power, Backline, Trade Shows and Conventions, Audio/Visual and more. Turns out, they also have a sister company in Phoenix who specializes in concerts and music festivals, and all Pro Audio related things. Where as in Tucson, we did mostly trade shows, corporate events, things like that. On my first day, we were setting up for a famous Christian rapper named Lecrae. Both companies were working side by side together, which is common, Cine doing mostly the pipe and drape, lighting, power, etc, where Pro Production Services focused on the audio side. Which was absolutely massive, by far the biggest system I had ever worked on. 12 JBL VTX V25's per side for mains, and I think it was 9 JBL VTX G28's for subs. I was a little in over my head from what I had done in the past, and was excited to learn. I met the Director of Operations, Donovan and the Warehouse Manager, Jeremy. Both of those guys were very happy to have the help and explained things thoroughly and (were and still are) very patient with me. I knew immediately I had my foot in the door, and I knew where I wanted to go. I put in my dues in Tucson, and was approved to transfer to Phoenix after 8 months. I learned so much from all the guys at Cine, from how to run cables clean, tape them down for safety, lighting and how their consoles work, building stages, truss systems, supplying power, all of the things I still use today. I am and will forever be grateful to those guys for being so patient and helping me learn how this company does things. Moving day came, and my beautiful and absolutely incredible girlfriend Shaina and I could not be more excited to get out of Tucson. We had a really crappy, cheap apartment and were both so ready for a change. We found a perfect apartment complex and she found work right away. While we are both still adjusting, we love it here and so does Yogi!

My day to day is ready to change at a moments notice, but fairly steady 9-5 at the shop mon-fri unless we have an early setup, or a late strike, or are working shows, which can go pretty late by the time I get home. It's not uncommon for us to work 20 hour days, sometimes back to back, which is still a struggle to recover from. Good thing I have been working hard since I was super young, thanks dad! It really prepared me to push myself, to keep going when I am tired, and to strive to be better everyday. I am learning so much, just today, on my day off, which are few and far between during the busy season, I was at the shop at 10am to set up a small system and go over some basic patching and get some hands on training on the console. Man, I was rusty! It has been like 5 years since I graduated from my Audio Engineering and Recording School and I have not been using what I learned for much of that time. Jeremy came in on his day off too to help us out and show us a few things which was awesome and greatly appreciated, he is a great teacher. I did just get the pleasure of setting up and mixing for an impromptu living room rock show for my buddy Justin Alonso's 25th surprise birthday party. My buddies from Long Beach, Bearwulf, consisting of Danny Cadiz on lead guitar, and Rob Gravely on rhythm guitar. It was such a blast working with those guys again, I used to help them out a lot when they first formed the band and were playing shows in Long Beach when I lived there. We also set up Justin's electronic drum set and a little stage light, it came together pretty sweet! I have a few videos on my Instagram- @natedoggdeezy and on my snapchat with the same username if you want to check those out as well as some other gigs I have worked on. Including Creedence Clearwater, Volbeat, Blues Traveler and more! I really love what I do and can't wait to continue to get better and to learn as much as I can.

Thanks for tuning in, I am hoping to be writing more about what I am learning and some funny stories from shows are sure to come up. Hard work pays off! If you want something, go out and freakin get it! Thats the only way you will accomplish your goals, I strongly encourage you to never give up. Good things come to those who work hard to get where they want to be. As always, feel free to message me, comment, share, whatever. I hope all is well with you all!

Peace out,

Nathan

New Beginnings

Hello again friends.

It has been some time since I last wrote in this blog. I have been extremely busy and I have not had as much free time lately. For that I apologize, but there are definitely some exciting new changes in my life! I have been working multiple jobs since my first weekend in Tucson. Combined, I am working about 70 hours a week, which can be draining. Usually only getting about 4-5 hours of sleep per night. But in no way am I complaining! I usually get off at my first job around 11:30 or 12:00 noon. Then sometimes I have go directly to my other job right or shortly after. In the time between jobs, I have been dedicating myself to practicing guitar, at very least 1 hour per day. And even though it is slow, I am making some decent progress!

On that note, I had the coolest thing happen to me last week. I was tuning up, and was struggling to get a string in tune, when it snapped! It was the first time that had happened to me, even though I had seen it happen multiple times before, needless to say it caught me completely off guard. I ended up dropping my guitar and in the process broke the "nut" which guides the strings to the tuning pegs. I took the guitar, which was given to me by my friend and previous manager up in Oregon. (Thanks again Nick Powell, that helped me to get in the groove of playing and I am so stoked you gave me that guitar!) But I digress, I took it into the guitar shop and they said to get it fixed up nicely, I would be looking to spend around $100. Which wasn't a problem, however, they also said they just got in this radical Marquis by Harmony, a replica of a vintage guitar. This thing looked and sounded beautiful! I was in love from the first time I held it. They totally hooked me up, I got a super nice case, strap, tuner, a bag of picks, a detailing kit and the guitar for only $300! I was beyond blown away. Huge thanks to the guys down at Strings N' Sticks here in Tucson. Anyone in the area looking to get a great deal on instruments or other gear should definitely check them out! So I have new motivation for playing and practicing and am beyond stoked to see the progress I am making. Learning the guitar is something I have always wanted to do, I just never had the determination or patience to do beforehand. It feels good to have a new project to keep me busy and I can hear myself getting better every time I play. I have even written a few songs and have been trying to come up with the music for it. It's a slow process but I am loving every second of it! Especially now that my fingers have callused and it doesn't hurt quite so much to press down on the strings.

In other and probably the most exciting news, I met someone... And she is amazing! She came into the store I was working at and we struck up a conversation, I decided to slip her my number when she checked out, and a few days later we met up for coffee. After getting to know each other a little bit, she took me to a few different spots around the city. One of which was overlooking the whole city, about halfway up the drive to Mount Lemmon. We sat and stared out at the city lights and talked about life, things we have been through and what we want to do with our lives. It was awesome to meet someone who shared so many of the same beliefs and values as I did. After we had stared at the city lights for over an hour, she took me to another one of her favorite spots in the city. This place was rad, about a 1/2 mile up a path in a National Forest, we went down to this cool little spot where there was a natural waterfall! We sat around the pool at the bottom and listened as the water came down serenading us. It was like something out of a movie, the night was super clear and there were tons of stars out. We sat and talked more and it was a trip, even though it was our first night hanging out together, I felt like I had known her for a long time. We have since spent pretty much every day together. She is an incredible singer, pianist, guitarist and songwriter and is teaching me a ton about songwriting and playing in general. I posted a video of her singing one of my favorites of hers a while back, so check it out if you haven't already. You will definitely be missing out if you don't. I am able to just completely be myself around her, not once has she asked me to change anything about me, just accepted me for who I am and seems to like me anyways. She has shown me so many amazing things that this city has to offer and I am completely taken by her. It feels so good to be with someone who actually appreciates me and just likes me for who I am, not who they want me to be like so many of my prior relationships have. It's like breathing in a breath of fresh air. So to you, Shaina, thank you, so very much for everything. You have definitely opened my eyes to so many beautiful things and I will be forever grateful for that. You rock my world. ;)

That's about all the updates I have as of lately. I just wanted to fill you in on this exciting new chapter of my life. I have to say, this one is looking to be pretty incredible so far. I can't wait to see where this takes me. My spirits are definitely lifted and I am feeling more optimistic and hopeful about my future than I have in quite some time. Stay tuned, as I will try to keep the updates coming in as they develop. Also, we have been recording some amazing stuff and it is only going to get better! I will post new songs as we record them! If you are curious about the music this amazing woman is making, let me know and I would be happy to send you some stuff!

God Bless and keep sending the prayers and positive vibes my way!

-Nathan