Happy New Year!!
This year has started off with a bang for me, as I got to spend new years with my 2 beautiful sisters! Up until that point, it had been 2 years since we had all been together. It was so refreshing to just kick back, enjoy some amazing conversation, lengthy laughter and probably a few too many delicious drinks! I flew from Eugene, Oregon to Orlando, Florida. Where we stayed for a week before traveling to Atlanta, Georgia. It was so awesome to see some different parts of the country I had never been to before and to have the amazing wisdom and encouragement my family had to give me. From there, we left after dropping Kayla off at the airport and headed back to my new home for the next couple months in Navarre, Florida.
Talk about a culture shock! I was astonished at how different things are on the East coast, from insanely low gas prices ($1.99 per gallon!) to the amount of meat that came on my pork ribs. Thanks Lloyds BBQ!! Best ribs I've ever had in my life! I also started going to the gym yesterday. If you didn't see my post, I got my ass kicked!! I am so excited to get back into shape and I am so happy to have the amazing training and support as well as the motivational push from my brother Zach. My goal is to be 160 lbs by my 25th birthday in august. Seeing as how I weighed in at 136 yesterday, I have my work cut out for me. It is time for me to break some old habits, and develop new healthy ones in their place. And as much as it might suck starting off, I know I will be grateful I did this later. I may even start to train to compete in a triathlon with my sister and brother this year! I am so excited to be getting fit and taking better care of myself. I have always been the type to take care of others and put them before myself and I am ready to break that cycle for a change and work on bettering myself.
In my first few posts, I was going through a very emotional time and tended to vent about what was consistently on my mind and driving me crazy. And even though there is still a ton of pain and emotions associated with what happened to me, I am honestly grateful to the both of them. They gave me an insanely generous gift, the chance to start new and fresh with no one to take care of but myself. I am viewing it as this guy has taken an enormous headache, and person who obviously never truly cared about me, away from me, he can have her for all I care. I no longer wish to have anything to do with either of those awful people. You may say that I am being harsh, but if you knew the extent of the pain they caused me by their words and actions you would understand. Yet I still hear the echo of their hurtful words and even the threats that I received in times where I am left alone with my thoughts. I was and still am hurt and it will take me a while to recover from the pain and emotional trauma I have endured. But, on a positive note, if it wasn't for them, I would not have reached out to some of the people that have recently come into my life and shown me what I knew I was missing and really deserve out of life and love. Yes, there is more to life than dwelling on the past. Sometimes, you have to go through some very hard things in order to overcome and become stronger. And that is exactly what I intend to do. I have a very bright future in front of me and I couldn't be more liberated. I feel like I am free for the first time in years. Free to do what I need to for me. Free to pursue my dreams and achieve my goals, and I am not going to let anything or anyone stand in the way of what I want. It will take time, but I am keeping those goals out in front of me and every day I am taking another step closer to obtaining them. The biggest test of a person isn't when everything is going well, it is when everything seems to be going wrong that you find out who they really are.
To those of you who have shown me kindness, support and keep me in your thoughts and prayers, thank you so much. It means more to me than I could ever express in words. To those who wish to see me fail, sorry to disappoint you, but it is not going to happen. Success is the only thing I am striving for now, and nothing can stop me.
